~What's on my mind???~

Actually,there's so many things on my mind right now.. If i write it down on a list,i think..it will take a day or two to finished the whole list..hahahaha..but seriously,so many things these days that kept on bugging me..hurmmm...i just don't have the time to think about it coz i don't wanna mess things up between my personal life and my career..

Do you ever sit and think…what if? What if he never said that first hello? What if his paths never crossed? What if he kept his mouth shut and just let things pass, or what if he would have said just one more thing? What if he had 5 more minutes? What if he could turn back time or make it all just stand still? What if he could say 'I love you' one more time or never had said it at all? Where would his or my life be? Better, worse, less confused, more confused, happier, or sadder??

Isn't it Ironic time seems to pass by so quickly without noticing that we have move forward into the future??? Well,sure it is..Have you ever think of what's going to be in the future?? My owh my... It really scares me to think 'bout it.. I am now a matured lady. Some people said that i should end my 'single' status (well..u know what i mean,don't you??),should have kids and all that kinda stuff in my age.. Or else,i will end up being an old spinster..hahaha

Well,i don't blame myself or anyone else me being solo or not married yet.. That's LIFE.. I will only wait for the perfect time and a perfect guy to come and pop the question.. Maybe One Fine Day...I guess so! ;)

V

~MY P.A.S.S.I.O.N..~

My Homemade 'Soto'.. Stole the recipe from my mom.. Missed her cooking :( .. so,this is the way i do,cooked the way she used to do.. Wala!! Here's my own version of 'Soto'..

This is 'Pancake with stewed apples and raisins and vanilla ice-cream toppings..

CHOCOLATE pudding with Orange Zest.. My Favorite!! I'm a chocolate lover!!!

And these are,Avocado CreamCheese Pie... It really melts in your mouth when you eat it.. Yummy! Yummy! Yummy!

Apple Crumble.. the apples are on the bottom while the crumble is on top of it.. kinda bored that sunday.. So,while waiting for the washing machine spinning my clothes..have the time to bake this.. hehehe

My Favorite among all is my homemade 'CHOCOLATE Cake'.... Love it so much!! It's kinda tempting thinking about the weight and all but that doesn't bother me at all..
Eat it all up!!!

Orange lime square ;) It should be lemon square,but no lemon in the fridge just orange and lime,so i modified the recipe.. hehe.. Thank God,it really works!!

Homemade Apple Strudle... At first i thought it's kinda hard to do it,but actually it's not that hard.. Just stewed the apple with mix spices and all that..then,wrapped it with the filo sheets... Nice and looks Masarap!!

~H.A.P.P.Y A.GA.I.N...~

Today is the greatest feeling i ever had.. How to describe it,huh?? H.A.P.P.Y...,i guess!! Hahahahaha..lol.. Yes,indeed.. I'm Officially H.A.P.P.Y today.. Glad to hear from him again and we're back just like we we're before.. ;)
He's still my 'W' and for sure,he's my babyboy again.. lol.. can't stop laughing and laughing,smiling and smiling over and over again.. guess i'm back alive again... my soul is back and half of my heart is back to normal again..
It amazes me how someone can make me feel this way..I love you more and more with each passing day..You brighten my days and lift my spirits..I have felt this for so long and now want you to hear it.. Hear everything that i gotta say..from the bottom of my heart..Everything is all about you..you and me..and us!!


VV

~Letter 'V'~

1. What is your name : Vanessa

2. A 5 Letter Word : Vivid

3. A boy's Name : Valentino (a well known Fashion Design)

4. A girl's Name : Velvet

5. An occupation : Voguer i guess...huhu

6. A color : Violet

7. Something you'll wear : a Vest..

9. A food : Vanilla Ice-cream!!

10. Something found in the bathroom: Vaseline..

11. A place : Venice..

12. A reason for being late : Vanity caused me to stare into mirror.. (hahaha)

13. Something you'd shout : Voila!!!!

14. A movie title : 'Valentine's Day'

15. Something you drink : Vegetable-juice

16. A musical group : Veronica's

17. An animal : Verdin

18. A street name : can’t think of 1 (Violet st., maybe…)

19. A type of car : Volkswagon

20. The title of a song: “Vision of Love” by Mariah Carey

~3 of Everything,instead..~

3 NAMES THAT FRIENDS CALL YOU:
~ VV (specific someone)
~ Vee
~ Jeanne (in french accent)

3 MOST IMPORTANT DATES IN YOUR LIFE:
~ 22nd of March (the day that will always remind me that I’m getting old)
~ 14th Feb (of coure,sweet bah tu – but not applicable when single)
~ Anniversary? hmmm… lol

3 THINGS YOU'VE DONE IN THE LAST 30 MINUTES:
~ blogging
~ on the phone with my baby sister..
~ FB’ing

3 WAYS TO BE HAPPY:
~ Just being with someone everyday.
~ No matter how great the problem is, laugh & laugh, as much as possible.
~ Share whatever you have with anyone you love.

3 PEOPLE YOU MISS FROM YOUR PAST:
~ ? (Secret)
~ My late bestfriend.. (may her soul rest in peace,Amen..)
~ My 3 closed friends during my childhood days..

3 GIFTS YOU WOULD LIKE TO RECEIVE:
~ Diamond ring (hehe… punya main cool tu!)
~ Signature shoes
~ Sexy lingeries..

3 OF YOUR FAVORITE HOBBIES:
~ Blogging
~ Baking/cooking
~ Singing/Dancing

3 PLACES YOU WANT TO GO FOR VACATION:
~ OMG! Hawaii baby!
~ Germany (the ‘greenest country)
~ Paris (city of love and fashion!!!!!)

3 FAVORITE DRINKS:
~ Coke
~ Cocktail
~ Coffee/Milk Shake/ice-blended/hot choc

3 THINGS IN YOUR BAG:
~ Hp
~ Money
~ House keys

3 FAVORITE COLORS:
~ Purple/lavender/Violet
~ White
~ Black

TOP 3 HANGOUTS:
~ Val's House (weekly ‘spiritual’ gathering)
~ Starbucks
~ Ventura's Crib (grandma’s hse)

TOP 3 "THINGS" SPECIAL TO YOU:
~ My Black VINCCI 3” Stiletto heels
~ My bangles & rings
~ My gadgets

Me,Myself & I,
VV

~C.R.U.S.H~

I hung up the phone tonight, something happened for the first time
Deep inside; it was a rush...
Cause the possibility that you’d ever feel the same way about me
It's just too much, maybe just too much
Why do I keep running from the truth; all I ever think about is you
You got me hypnotized, so mesmerized
And I just got to know..
Do you ever think when you’re all alone
All that we can be? Where this thing can go?
Am I crazy or falling in love?
Is it real or just another crush?
Do you catch a breath when I look at you?
Are you holding back, like the way I do?
Coz I try and try to walk away, but I know this crush ain't goin away...
Has it ever cross your mind, when we're hangin spending time man
Are we just friends? Is there more?
See it's a chance we've gotta take
Cause I believe that we can make this into something that will last,
Last forever, forever...

VV

Something That I Want From A Guy...

Find a guy that :

~is caring and loving,not because he has a fancy car...

~is kind, not because he is rich...

~is hardworking, not because he is just 'good looking'...

~is educated, because that is the treasure that is valuable...

~is understanding, because that's the roots of a happy relationship...

~have a good manners,because it's okay to bring him anywhere..haha

~says "I will try" instead of "I promise" so that you won't have that high expectation on something because people do break promises rite...and sometimes,it's not that they want to break it,but they have to( it's fate)...

~will be your MAP, so that he can be your guidance when you lose your sense of directions in life...

~can make u smile whenever you are sad,so that you will realize that life is worth living...

~holds your hand anywhere you go, because it just shows that he wants the world to know you are the meaning of his life...

~watch you when you're sleeping, because you will feel secure with his protection...

annndddd...

~Find a guy that will look straight into your eyes each morning you get up and say "I love you"...=)



Waittttttttttttttttttttt!!!! Do u think I can find a guy just like the one that i described...LOL :)



VV

Letting Go...

When you love a person very much, even though you’re already experiencing pain, you just can’t let go. But sometimes, the heart gets really tired and the mind insists to let go cause the heart can’t take it anymore.



Sometimes I wish I’m different. Sometimes I wish I’m more than what I am right now. You know why? Cause maybe if that happens, the person I love will learn to like me, to care for me, to love me. I just wish you would.



I wish I can tell you I love you just to let you know I care, just to let you know I’ll always be there. I love you so much, you see? I guess that’s why it hurts to know how much you love her, not me.



I tried to say I love you but you didn’t care. I wanted to tell you but I couldn’t dare.



If loving means being loved then I do not love enough. If loving means being special then I have barely loved. But if loving means getting hurt then I love too much.



Loving you made me strong but it also made me weak. It made me happy but also depressed. It helped me up but also pulled me down. It taught me how to hold on but now it’s teaching me how to let go.



I don’t know why I’m so afraid to lose you when you’re not even mine. I don’t know why I care for you when you don’t even love me. I don’t know why you’re the one when I’m just nobody to you.



What do you think of me, a damn fool who wouldn’t mind getting hurt? I’m human and I can feel pain. Think of what you do cause I have feelings too. Please don’t show me you’re loving someone new.



I was willing to give you everything I had, I was willing to love you completely and I was willing to fight for you. But still, I had to let you go cause even though I was willing to do everything for you, you weren’t.



I can’t tell you I love you cause it doesn’t seem right. If I tell you those words, I might just give you a fright. If you think I’m kidding, you’re really wrong. I just can’t tell you I love you if it’s to someone’s heart you belong.



Lord, let me accept the fact that this is the farthest that I can get, the closest I could be and the clearest that I shall see and that no matter what I do, I can never make him love me too.



I like you, don’t you know? I care for you, don’t you know? I love you, don’t you know? How stupid of me to ask you these questions! Of course, you don’t! How would you know I like you, care for you and love you when you’re busy loving someone else?



Days continue to pass, stars continue to shine. Why do I have tears in my eyes today when he was never mine?



No matter how many tears I’ve cried, you’re still not there. No matter how sweet my smile was, you still didn’t care. No matter how much affection I show, I’m still at the dark. No matter how much I love you, you still broke my heart.



Do you know that the worst way I can miss you is not when you’re far away? It’s when you’re right beside me yet I know I can never have you.



It's not my fault if I can't help looking at you. It's not my fault if I can't stop calling you. It's not my fault I do like you. My only mistake was to fall to much in love with you.



And even though you lied, and even though you pretended to care I can't seem to get you out of my mind and even though it seems like I should be over you, with every tear that falls, it reminds me of how much I am still in love with you.



One day you'll look back and think... damn! that girl really did love me...


VV

~M.I.S.S.I.N.G Y.O.U...~

Here we go again... I suddenly missed him so much.. I just can't get him out of my mind. I don't know why i suddenly think about him. What should i do?? I really don't know what is he up to right now. Seems like he's pushing me away.. And i don't wanna lose him.. :'(
Are we still or are we not?? I don't have a clue about that. Now i feel so down.. don't know what is happening to us,don't know what will going to happen in the future,don't know whether he still loves me or not and for sure,i'm scared of losing him..
I'M OFFICIALLY M.I.S.S.I.N.G Y.O.U....

VV

~J.U.N.K.S in the T.R.U.N.K.S~

This is me,smiling while busy blogging.. :) This is what i used to do on my free time besides baking,singing,netsurfing (fb-ing of course..) bla..bla..bla..
And this is the way i expresses of how i feel and sharing my experiences in life. My Blog is like my second Diary. People do said that,"Sharing is Caring"..don't you think so??

Well..Welcome to my World!! This is my junks and i can't barely live without 'em..
I'm a NOVEL freak.. So,after reading it i just scattered it on my bed. It doesn't matter whether i'm out of space to sleep.. They are my bestfriends now..

Oh my Gosh.. Looks like i'm going to get busy this weekend for a general cleaning and do my laundry. It looks like i didn't do my laundry for a week.. Shame on me.. I wonder if my mom is here,she would probably freakin' out when she sees this.. And there you go,"Vanessa!!! Go and do your laundry before you will get grounded!! " (well,she's not here at the moment..missed her so much =( )

And these are my favorites.. 'M.A.K.E.U.P'!!! It always looks like this,messy..huhu
Even my gadgets are everywhere in this room.. My owh my...when am i going to change my bad habit???

S.L.E.E.P.I.N.G... is one of my bad habit too.. I guess it's because lack of sleep during the night.. But the worst case is i used to sleep with my lappy on.. Is that a weird thing to do or what?? Back in the days when i used to chat with him via 'SKYPE' or 'YM',i can't leave my lappy and i do surely bring it anywhere or everywhere i go..

So..to be honest ,i can't live without my 'JUNKIES'..

~ What Can I Do To Make U Happy??~

Is there any hopes for me to fix the mistakes that i did?? Please tell me what can i do to get it right back just like we used to be before.. What can i do to make you love me again? What can i do to make you care? What can i do to make you smile again? What can i do to make you feel happy again? Does it take too long for me to wait a response from you??


:'(

~The day i knew him~

I remember on that cold and frosty morning,someone with an ID 'me in boxer' would greet me. I wasn't aware of something that would happen 'coz all i wanted was a new friend and a new life after being dumped by my ex...
After introducing ourselves and meet up each other via 'SKYPE',i felt something weird is happening to me.I just can't explain how i feel after looking at him for the very first time. I felt butterflies in my tummy..WEIRD...

And there it goes again,i felt that strange feeling again everytime he says 'hi' to me. Oh my gosh,am i falling in L.O.V.E again??? Do i have to tell him how i feel??or should i keep it to myself?? But i just can't fight this feeling any longer.. How am i supposed to tell him that i have feelings towards him?? I'm so damn scared. Scared of getting hurt again,scared of what he got to say that will only ruin our friendship. I really wish i have the guts to tell him how i feel.. =(

Day by day,we begin to be so closed as we often texting with eachother,talking thru the phone and we meet up via 'SKYPE'. Then,one day we were having this serious conversation about feelings.I myself still not sure of what i am going to tell him 'coz i really can't keep it anymore. It all started with a look. I began to feel so down and he suddenly asked me why do i look so sad. I'm not ready to tell him but he seems to force me to tell him. So,i gave him a hint,i said that i'm in L.O.V.E. But the funny thing is he thought that i'm in love with someone else and not knowing that the guy that i meant was actually,HIM..But then again and again he keeps on forcing me to tell him. I really can't help it,finally i told him the whole damn truth..'That Guy was..U..'
And from that very moment he was burst into tears. All this while he reads all my status that i used to updated in one of the 'social-network' i'm into. He just can't believed that i fell for him.. Gosh..what was i thinking that time.. Only God knows how i feel that day. It was a relief though it scares me to hell. Waiting for his response and all that makes me feel so embarrassing.. Without any responses from him,he suddenly logged out and leaving me with no answers.. I was totally B.L.A.N.K...
The next day,was the day that changed everything. It was totally unexpected as he suddenly texted me. I can't explain how i feel that day.. I'm touched.. :'(
With a blink of an eye,i myself cried with tears of J.O.Y... We both declared as a C.O.U.P.L.E... That was the day i knew him..

=)
VV (this is actually our signature -his nickname and my name)

~Addiction~

These are 'Double Chocolaty Chip Frappuccino® Blended Beverage'.. As i am a CHOCOHOLIC,i will definitely gonna have this kind of drinks. Anything that contains chocolate,i will surely gonna have them. It is something that we can't get enough of..

And now,i am addicted to something that contains CAFFEIN.. Oh my Gosh,what is happening to me?? And this is my favorite 'Mocha Frappuccino® Blended Beverage'. It's sweet, creamy and cold – just the way a good summer treat should be. And it serves up the rich, satisfying taste of chocolate and coffee. Pure indulgence for pure enjoyment..Thanx to STARBUCKS for making me addicted to it..

I'm declaring myself as a 'CAFFEIN ADDICTION'

=)

~The Right Path~

Yesterday,i just got a shocking news about a long time friend of mine. It's been ages since i last heard about him. I was kinda shocked and surprised the news that i heard that he converted. Oh my gosh,all this while i was the one who really wanted to do the same thing like he did but he's the one who did it first. And surprisingly,i just can't believe it. I knew him all my life and he was like so active in church and attending masses.

MOHD DANIEL AIMAN... that's his new name now. Anyway,i am really happy for him. Maybe he just found the right path in his life. With all the ups and downs that he been thru his past life before makes him think that he had to start a brand new life. Congrats to him..
I wonder am i going to be the next??

:)

~D.I.S.A.P.P.O.I.N.T.E.D~

I'm on the edge of disappointment. I've been thru this again and again. I'm sick and tired of being hurt. Why does it have to happen to me again?? What is wrong with me? Is there something that i did that didn't get his attention towards me? Or he might get bored of me?.. I don't know what did i do and make him keeping away from me.
'3 Ways a guy that is trying to avoid from U'

1. He doesn't call or even text u like he used to do before.

2. He doesn't care anything about you anymore.

3. He doesn't reply any of your text messages and just keep on silence.

These are the signs that a guy is trying to break your heart. And that is what he is trying to do to me too..

=(

~ L.I.F.E ~

   Life is too short to be wasted.So,we have to use it wisely. Otherwise we will feel regret of wasting it..As we grow up, we learn that even the one person that wasn't supposed to ever let us down, probably will. You'll have your heart broken and you'll break others' hearts. You'll fight with your best friend or maybe even fall in love with them, and you'll cry because time is flying by. So take too many pictures, laugh too much, forgive freely, and love like you've never been hurt. Life comes with no guarantees, no time outs, no second chances. you just have to live life to the fullest, tell someone what they mean to you and tell someone off, speak out, dance in the pouring rain, hold someone's hand, comfort a friend, fall asleep watching the sun come up, stay up late, be a flirt, and smile until your face hurts. Don't be afraid to take chances or fall in love and most of all, live in the moment because every second you spend angry or upset is a second of happiness you can never get back. 
  How i wish i could turn back the time then it will be much better than my previous life. I wish i will not get hurt,i wish i find my happiness,i wish i was her but the fact is,i'm not. I wanna be something special to someone that is special to me eventhough i know,i'm not... Do i have to cry for him knowing that he's not going to be with me??? or do i have to begged him to stay??? I wish i could do more than that...

=( 

~About Vanessa..~

    I'm just a girl next door with a high spirit, easy-going, patience, understanding, loving, caring yet down to earth. But i'm also a rebellious type in my own way. Some people doesn't really understand the way i feel or the way i want it to be. Anyway,this is me.. I was born with the name,'Vanessa Jeanne Vince'. I'm 20++ (don't wanna mention it) and currently working with a company called,'CH Williams,Talhar & Wong '..I'm a multiracial. My dad is kadazan,a native from a 'Land Below The Wind',Sabah. My mom is a filipina,spanish and chinese descent. So,that makes me a 'ROJAK' version.
   I had 6 siblings in my family and i'm the 5th with 2 elder brothers and 2 elder sisters and a younger sister. And 4 sure,i'm the 'CUTIE' 1 among the girls (hehehe).Well,since my parents have been divorced,i grew up with my mom and her family side. So,i am more exposed in a filipino culture.Thank God,i managed to finished my studies and just graduated from my degree level in Business Management. Now,i'm looking forward into a stable career and life. That's all about myself.

=)